To my dear friends

I have two very special women in my life. Two women who have blessed me with their friendship. Two women who blessed me with their help and loving care as each of my sons entered into this world. Each of these women will hold a special place in my heart for as long as it beats. My friends. My confidants. My midwives.

Yes, these dear friends happen to be my midwives. Each of them started out as my midwife, and then each quickly became my friend. A deep friendship and connection that I do not share with any other friend. They know me - inside and out, I guess I can say.

My first pregnancy journey was with Nancy Bacheldor. It was a perfect, amazing journey and Lucas was born. I cried at our 6 week post-partum appointment with her. She laughed and said it was hormones. But it was because I had shared so much of my life with her in those 9 months or so, and I realized she wasn't going to be in my life much anymore. She was a busy midwife and I had a brand new baby. We certainly kept in touch, but I knew it wouldn't be the same as seeing her every week.

A few years later, I became pregnant again. Excited. Happy. Ready for a girl. My pregnancy started with a few warning signs, and Nancy had the horrible job of telling us that we were going to lose the pregnancy. She helped me through that so gracefully, so lovingly, so patiently.

Once again, God gave me the gift of another pregnancy. Nancy had always talked to me about this wonderful woman from Paonia who did home births. She encouraged me to contact her, and her recommendation was absolutely glowing. She couldn't say enough good things about her. Lucas' birth was a beautiful, natural, hospital birth with Nancy, and she knew I could handle a home birth. So I made the call to this wonderful woman from Paonia, Julianne Guy. And I fell in love with her right away. I had a good idea going in that it would be a good fit because Nancy just thought the world of her. So if Nancy liked her, I knew I was on the right track.

We were on the right track, all right. My pregnancy was perfect and I grew to love Julianne more and more each day. We had an absolutely amazing home birth, and welcomed Ethan into our family. Words cannot describe the wonderful experience that was. And so much of it was because of Julianne - her love, her care, her constant support. I can still remember some of the things she said to me during my labor that made such a difference to me - encouraging me and telling me what a great job I was doing. Moms in labor need to hear those kinds of things, and the words she chose and the way she said them were so comforting and empowering.

Our friendship continued to grow, and at Ethan's 6 week post-partum appointment, there was also lots of crying. She admitted that she wasn't very good at staying connected with friends, but I thought to myself "I don't care - I am not letting this friendship go." And I haven't. And she hasn't. And I can say she is the most special woman in my life. She is so good to me, and so good for me. I have never had a friendship that I am more thankful for.

These two ladies have shared more excitement and more disappointment with me in the last 5 months. Early this year, we were thrilled to find out we were expecting again. We began our prenatal care with Julianne, so looking forward to another wonderful home birth at the beginning of September. At the end of my first trimester, I decided to see Nancy for an ultrasound to firm up my due date. Julianne had a vacation planned near the end of August, and I wanted to firm things up because there was a possibility that I may be due later in September (and that would make me feel better since Julianne was going to be gone on vacation). The ultrasound confirmed every woman's nightmare - our baby had stopped growing 4 weeks prior. We were devastated, and at 13 weeks, certainly surprised. Nancy and Julianne walked an ever-so-delicate path with us for another 3 weeks as we waited for my body to take care of things on its own. They cared for me physically, emotionally, and spiritually through that difficult time. I never would have made it through without them, the support of my precious husband, and the comfort and hope of my Savior, Jesus Christ.

We relived that nightmare again, just one week ago. Once again the hope of a child, and the disappointment and sadness of loss. Once again, Nancy telling us the news, and Julianne sharing in our sorrow. Once again, my dearest friends, walking hand in hand with me (and Gil) through this journey that is life. Real life. Real joy. Real sorrow. For that, my dear friends, I am eternally grateful. There will be more joy, there will be more sorrow and everything in between. And with you two by my side, I know that I can make it through anything that comes along. Thank you, Nanc - thank you, Jules - for being more to me than you could ever know. I love you both.